It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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