I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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