We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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