hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.†\nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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