He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
