I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
