Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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