i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
