Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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