Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
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I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
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bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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