I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
