i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
