Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
