I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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