the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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