Im at strip club and am horny
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We are two peas in an std pod
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
