My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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