i will never coherently bang her
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He shit in the fireplace
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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