yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
