this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
