How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
