New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
