I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
