the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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