He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
