you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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