I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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