OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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