dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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