So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My vagina just clenched in fear
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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