i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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