I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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