I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
