you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
