Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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