Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
