Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Everclear isn't food dammit
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
