mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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