His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
