the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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