My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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