nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Houston, we have a squirter
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
