I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
