hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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