He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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