Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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