What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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