Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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