Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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