I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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