he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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