Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
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he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
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You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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