At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
