it wasn't lemon gatorade
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
