If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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