I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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